Neuf Reacts

OKAY

I think I finally figured out a good setup to record PC games and transfer the footage to OS X (however I’m still having a frustratingly-difficult time trying to capture console footage while recording webcam at the same time). So you can expect some videos REALLY SOON c:

HERE’S THE LINE-UP FOR MAY:

1. Deus Ex: Human Revolution [boss battle] - for testing out FRAPS I decided to use this game to test quality…and it was a bit rough, but still watchable. Deus Ex is a high-end game afterall, so I wasn’t really surprised when there was a bit of graphical chug

2. Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City - my friend was kind enough to lend me his copy of the special edition for Xbox 360, so I’ll be recording my first reaction to it. I’ve heard polarized reviews of this game, so I have no idea what my reaction will be

3. Demon’s Souls - this one is a long-time coming, and I cannot wait to record my initial reaction to the game. I’m sure it’ll be fun :D

4. Skyline - I’ve heard nothing but terrible things about this movie, but haven’t watched it myself, so why not get my own opinion about it?

5. Catherine (?) - I’ve already given my review for this game, so this one is a maybe

Can’t wait to be busting my editing chops again

But seriously, I do need help with the webcam problem: can anyone offer a solution to recording console footage while recording webcam? QuickTime Player absolutely refuses to work when the capture device is on and vice-versa; it says my computer does not have the right bandwidth (????). I don’t really want to have to set up a camera and record that way (the quality would stink and it’s extra work). I use the Elgato Capture Device for console footage, and the device works best on OS X.

**This blog contains minor spoilers and describes a major event that takes place in the game. Read at your own discretion

Okay seriously, why is there no fucking option to adjust audio levels? The music is blaringly-loud while the voices are super quiet. I DON’T CARE FOR YOUR MUSIC, ATLUS.

Or your goddamn bells ._.

*sigh* Anyway, let’s continue shall we?

I’ve decided, for the sake of my sanity, I’m going to cheat and walk the level through via a YouTube video. I don’t even care anymore.

20 MINUTES LATER

MAN, how can ANYONE be this good at Catherine? It’s so frickin’ intense, how some players can play this so flawlessly. I mean, I can understand trial and error, practice and whatnot, but this is too much *continues playing*

30 MINUTES LATER

Okay we’re through! :D

So yeah, after a certain number of levels, you have to fight a boss…and man are they fucking bizarre. For this one, I have to fight some giant demonic baby that shoots chainsaws at you while crying “Daddy!”

Oh yeah, fun fucking times.

I do kinda like the bosses though; they’re obviously a corruption or warping of what’s on Vincent’s mind; with the possibility of his girlfriend being pregnant, Vincent is clearly very worried about suddenly becoming a father, wanting things to stay simple and the same. That kind of ties in to going to bed angry, sad or stressed out; you tend to have messed up dreams if something’s weighing heavily on your mind.

So after I beat the boss I step through a magic door and wake the hell up

6^th DAY – VINCENT’S APARTMENT

WTF VINCENT’S BED IS FULL OF ANTS!! GODDAMN IT, THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T LEAVE FOOD OUT!! THAT’S HOW YOU GET ANTS

Oh and there’s Catherine, shooing them out and freaking the fuck out. Just what you need after a night of heavy drinking and hot sex you can’t remember.

According to the waitress of the bar, ants and spiders are a sign of a witch, so that could be interpreted either which way: they’re either crowding around because Vincent left Katherine’s cake gift out (untouched) or he’s being watched over by a witch. I like that slight paranormal mood to the overarching story; nothing is explicitly out of place (save for the nightmares), but other than that nothing too out of the ordinary happens.

And god is Catherine hot.

Catherine: “They were after this” *lifts up cake* “What is this? Cake? Where’d you get it? Well?!”

Vincent is the stupidest fucking guy on the planet; of course there was NO WAY he could explain at the beginning of the whole fiasco, just have to lie out of your ass.

What, did you guys think there was logic in this story?

Here, let me lay it down for you folks:

At the beginning of the game, Vincent’s girlfriend, Katherine, urges him (in a less-than-subtle way) that he should think about settling down and push their relationship further ahead. After stressing out at the bar with his friends, Vincent decides to relieve the “overwhelming stress” by drinking alone until a young girl named Catherine sits by him and chats up a storm. And by chat I mean sword-fighting with their tongues.

Soon, before Vincent knows it, he finds himself in a weird puzzle-based nightmare, where if he dies in the dream he dies in real life.

Heavy fucking stuff.

So he awakes the next morning…to find a naked Catherine lying next to him in bed.

Oh. Crap.

So what does Vincent do?

Does he explain the situation?

Does he mention he has a girlfriend?

Does he apologize and point out they were both really drunk?

Does he admit that things got out of hand?

NO. He does his best to play along and shrugs it off, deciding instead to take the “Woe is me” route and bitch about it, getting shit-faced to numb the pain while continuing this ridiculous air-headed debacle.

And it’s an incredible trip.

The conflict is so thick and close to the edge that I can’t help but feel like my chest is about to burst (or maybe it was because of that Ridley Scott trailer I saw yesterday). Anyway, I LOVE the dramatic tension and overwhelming conflict masterfully-woven throughout the game. The entire game is about choice, and every single decision you make causes a ripple to spread and affect the outcome of the story.

And it’s not just the questions I mentioned in Part I; I was talking with NPCs about nothing, just shooting the breeze. But sometimes when I made a decision the morality bar would come up and shift in a direction, leaving me to gasp and go wide-eyed, thinking “OH FUCK what have I done?! No no different answer DIFFERENT ANSWER”

It’s crazy how things can change in a matter of seconds.

And yeah, I know it seems unrealistic and dumb how the story progresses; why does Vincent dig the hole deeper? Why doesn’t he just shut up and fix things?

Well, believe or not, THERE’S A REASON FOR THAT. A LEGITIMATE REASON, HONESTLY FOLKS.

And I can’t tell you.

It’s very clear by the end of the story why the things happen the way they do (even the nightmares and messed-up bosses). It’s all part of an overarching story that comes together really well.

Okay, now back to the game.

Well since my morale clock is in the red, Vincent is more worried about Katherine finding out that he’s cheating over Catherine finding out he has a girlfriend. Huge difference between the two; he favours Catherine over Katherine (confused yet?)

Oh by the way did I mention that Catherine is BAT SHIT CRAZY?!

She’s telling me, in a very low and sexy voice…that if I cheat on her she’s going to DIE. And how does she follow that up? BY BITING ME. Not playful hehe-this-is-the-precursor-to-a-Japanese-orgy type biting, SHE’S TAKING FLESH OUT OF MY GODDAMN SHOULDER.

Damn, that’s kinky.

Well, after another bullshit excuse, Vincent manages to worm his way out of another situation. What a ponce.

LUNCH WITH KATHERINE

Oh lord, no one is subtle in Japan, seriously: he suspects Katherine might be cheating on him (cool logic bro), so he “indiscreetly” asks her about any other guys. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You’re 30 fucking years old! How did you get this broad in the first place?

Yeah, now she’s mad, and you’re visibly sweating. HOW YOU GUNNA GET OUTTA DIS VINCE?

6^th NIGHT – STRAY SHEEP

Well that’s always a good sign: 2 of the friends are having nightmares too. What could go wrong here?

This doesn’t make any damn sense; Vince is saying “Man I’m such a terrible person, I have to do something about this.” You said this 3 nights ago! All you’ve been doing to ‘fix’ the situation is sit in a bar and kill your fucking braincells with beer and cocktails. Yup, good Japanese resolve there, Vince. Frickin’ Afro Samurai wannabe.

Ah, a text message from Katherine.

This is a pretty cool part of the game. You can decide how to respond to people by hitting X to type out a line. If you don’t like it, press O to delete it and hit X again to type a different line. You can cycle through the different lines until you make a message you want to send.

Here’s what my girlfriend said:

“Vincent…Have you gotten involved in something bad? If that’s the case, tell me. Tell me the truth. Your problems are my problems now.”

Since I’m going for the full cheating option, here’s my response:

“You don’t believe me? I don’t want to have to explain it to you. It’s not a big deal. Bye.”

Damn I’m such a lady’s man.

I also have to keep an eye on the other bar patrons; it’s apparent to the player (but not to the characters) that some people you see the nightmares are real people you see in real life. For example, I see sitting at the bar two guys that were recognizable in the last nightmare puzzle I *ahem* completed totally legitimately. In order to keep them going and not give up hope, I can talk with them and offer encouragement, which I enjoy doing. This way I also get some insight into their backstory and personalities, fleshing out the story.

It seems all the victims of the nightmares are young men who, at one point in time, have been dishonest or treated women badly.

Hmm.

EEEEEEEEEE Catherine texted me!

“I hope you’re working hard! I love when you talk about your job <3 Oooooh! It’s our first *real* date tomorrow! I’m sooooooooooo excited! <3 <3 <3  [weird emote I can’t replicate because I’m not Japanese] Let’s do something else after we go to the movies!”

Oh and she attached a picture…which I can only see in the bathroom

*goes to bathroom*

Okay let’s have a look…

O________________o

She’s on a bed wearing a red ribbon…and nothing else.

I keep forgetting this is an M-rated game.

Okay, response:

“Is it…going to be a date? Ugh…I’m so nervous…what does an ulcer feel like?”

Wow, that was…kinda flat. And unfortunately I didn’t have really any other options. I thought this guy was 30, not a fucking high school student. Whatever *sends*

Let’s see what’s on the news…

ARCHIE IS DEAD?! But…I talked to him like every fucking night! Oh wait…DAMMIT I MISSED A NIGHT

Argh this game is so unforgiving! There’s so much to do, how the fuck can you be expected to play a perfect game?! I can’t talk to my friends, text my two lovers, watch the news, go to the washroom for a wank AND talk to 3 other people at the same time!

Yeah this game is part real-time. Fun shit huh?

I guess it’s not mandatory…but I’m a trophy whore.

…that didn’t come out right ANYWAY

Oh wait…

Damn, they died because I wasn’t being encouraging, but pessimistic because I was trying to get my morale compass over to Catherine’s side. Wow, so I guess it’s harder to encourage when you yourself is being dishonest. I can dig that. Just means less trophies for me

10 MINUTES LATER

Hey, last one in the bar, who shows up? Catherine, everybody’s favourite lovable whore

Catherine: You ever cheated on anyone Vincent?

Vincent: Huh?! Wha…

Catherine: I can’t imagine…it’s you, after all. I’ve cheated on someone before…but don’t worry, I’m only seeing you.

Vincent: U-Uh…how do I say this…?

Catherine: It’s really strange that I feel this way. Do you get what I’m trying to say? Oh, I’m probably not making much sense.

Vincent: Well…

Catherine: Man, you’re not talking much today…I’m just sitting here with some guy who’s not saying anything. We’re done talking today!

Vincent: Sorry, see you tomorrow…

*FACE-DESK*

Man, managing a relationship is hard work.

Okay the puzzle’s starting up so I’m shutting down before I start freaking out.

Oh wait…CAN’T FUCKING SAVE UNTIL I BEAT THE FIRST FLOOR. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

So folks, with all my bitching and moaning, why have I not burned the fucking disc or exchanged it for a more pleasant experience, like slamming my dick in a door frame?

Because it’s a great game.

YES I SAID IT AND I MEAN IT. Catherine is a good game.

I hate the puzzles to high heaven and I don’t find them very enjoyable (or remotely playable) at all. I’m just not a puzzle gamer.

But having said that, I find the story absolutely compelling; between the bullshit bits of falling cubes, I was genuinely at the edge of the couch aching to know what would happen next in the story; I sweated and pondered my next move, not knowing what effect my decisions would have. And with 8 different endings to the game, I want to know what happens in each one.

So why don’t I just look up all the clips on YouTube?

Because this is my story. It’s happening to me, and I’m the one pulling all the strings. Everything that happens is a result of my actions. And that just fills me with so much glee.

I really really really really really wish the game was ALL about the roleplaying and NONE of the puzzle crap, but that’s how it is and I can’t change that.

So having said that, despite all my ranting, I’m still giving Catherine a solid 6.5 / 10 , with most of that based on its story elements.

Whew. Now honestly folks, I need your help. I want more roleplaying gaming like this, so do you guys recommend any other games that have similar roleplaying bits like this? 

davideh93:

Katherine, or Catherine…. hmmmm

**The following blog contains minor spoilers

Goddamn it, here I am again, playing one of the most infuriating games that has ever slipped inside my PlayStation 3. I keep telling myself to stop playing it, maybe even return it for a better game, like Yakuza 4 or even Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker.

But nope, here I am again, playing fucking Catherine.

I don’t know why I keep feeling drawn to this game, when I know I’m going to end up screaming in rage and testing the strength of my controller by trying to snap it in half.

Maybe it has some subliminal fucking succubus seduction powers (damn that’s a mouthful) and it keeps feeding off of your despair and hatred for the fucking Asians that designed this game.

Maybe it’s all in the main menu, flaunting a barely-clothed 20 year old while sheep in the background fall to a grisly death.

Actually that sounds a little sick when you describe it out loud.

Fuck it, whatever. Let’s play CATHERINE.

5th NIGHT - STRAY SHEEP BAR

I forgot I left off in the bar…and got my character piss drunk.

That’s your punishment for being a protagonist in this game, Vince. Life’s a bitch, ain’t it?

I’m guessing the Japanese never die from alcohol poisoning; I can literally make him sit here all night and drink. It’d be more fun and less depressing than going home to deal with those fucking puzzles.

5th NIGHT - VINCENT’S HOME

And he’s drinking more?! Holy shit, I’m jealous! I wish my constitution would allow me to drink half a pub without any alcohol poisoning. Man, living in Japan must be hard.

Shit, he’s falling asleep.

Yeah, I’m screwed.

6th NIGHT - CLOCK TOWER - FIRST FLOOR

“From this point on, your skills will be tested by various puzzles.”

So…everything up to this point has been a FUCKING TUTORIAL???

God, I’m already grinding my teeth in rageful anticipation.

Vince: What, there’s more?!

YEAH I’M WITH VINCE ON THIS ONE.

Okay, here we go…

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Yeah see, it tempts you; it makes you think you can do it by making the start of the puzzle simple as hell. You start to feel good, like “PFFT this is easy, I can do this; it’ll be a piece of cake.”

That is until you look at the progression bar and see that you haven’t fucking moved yet!

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Okay I did it! I reached the first checkpoint. Yeah, it’s not even the halfway point; it’s the first goddamn checkpoint.

I still have 3/4 of the level to go.

But I did pick up a nifty item to help me; fortunately the game graces you (sometimes) with a usable item, such as placing a block, being able to jump 2 squares at a time, or killing enemies with lightning.

That’s one thing I don’t really get though: the sheep are actually young men, like your character, who are also trying to climb up to the top of the tower, literally running away from their imminent death.

So…you’re killing people just like yourself? Why aren’t they able to kill you with items too? What makes you so special?

Ah well, whatever helps me and screws the rest, I don’t even care. Let’s continue…

FEW SECONDS LATER

Yup, already screwed myself into a corner. Thank god for the Undo option; you can undo one block placement with each press of the select button.

But on Hard you cannot undo. How is the game even playable then?

And it’s not like you can take your time or anything, since the whole fucking map is falling away underneath you.

AT THE HALFWAY POINT

GODDAMN IT I HATE FUCKING ICE BLOCKS JESUS CHRIST WHAT A STUPID CHEAP BULLSHITTY THING TO ADD TO AN ALREADY IMPOSSIBLE PUZZLE GAME!!

If you step on an ice block you slip like a fucking dunce and slide until you either hit a block that isn’t ice, or you fall to your death. Guess what happens 90% of the time?

Fuck, what an infuriating thing. Then you have to start back at the checkpoint, which is near the start of the fucking puzzle.

FUCK YOU ATLAS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT GAME COMPANY!

BACK AT THE HALFWAY POINT

Man I can’t help but feel nervous as I work my way up the map. The controls are alright I suppose, but it’s so easy, dangling off the edge of a cube, to accidentally hit X or a wrong direction and send Vince tumbling down to his death.

You figure X would be used to haul yourself up or something right? Nope [just Chuck Testa]

You have to hit ‘up’ on the analog stick or d-pad, no matter what side you’re on or direction you’re facing. That makes it pretty easy to screw with your sense of perspective.

And I don’t understand the decision to reverse the controls when your’e on the other side of the block. That’s just weird.

By that I mean if you’re on the back edge of a cube, the controls don’t follow the on-screen direction, but follow Vince’s personal direction (is Vince a Japanese name?) Sounds simple don’t it? Well if you find yourself on the side of a cube, the controls reverse, so hitting the same direction will put you back behind the cube.

It’s as confusing as it sounds (and really difficult to explain).

Long story short, the controls suck ass.

NEARING THE TOP

God that bell is fucking annoying.

A church bell tolls when you’re close to the top, giving you that slim ray of hope. But then it becomes unbearably irritating when you’re stuck on the last 2 steps of the map, trying to figure out how to make stairs up to the door, and that damn bell is clanging on your ear drums.

Fuck I hope I don’t fall at this point…

Unfortunately for you guys, but fortunate for me, I made it. Got a silver too. Yay.

6th NIGHT - CLOCK TOWER - FIRST LANDING

Oh did I mention that there are two more floors to finish past this?

Yeah, now I’m at a landing with other sheep, where you can discuss techniques and get to know the characters. There’s the game tempting you with good bits in between the shit bits.

I don’t know why I bother with the techniques, I’m not gonna remember any of these.

Fuck I hate that bell.

6th NIGHT - CLOCK TOWER - CONFESSIONAL

You’re asked questions between levels to kind of determine the direction of your moral compass, which is pretty cool.

Like, for example, the question I’m being asked right now is: “A person of the same sex is hitting on your lover, what do you do?” And the choices are: “Step in and end it” or “Trust your lover”

Let’s go with option A…

Sweet! It went over to the bad side; I’m playing through cheating hardcore on my girlfriend (before you think I’m such a terrible person, I already beat the game on Easy being 100% faithful to the girlfriend).

If you’re playing offline they show you the results of an internet poll, and the results for men between 20-40 years of age was pretty much even… for the women’s side 80% of them trusted their lover.

Heh, morons.

6th NIGHT - CLOCK TOWER - SECOND FLOOR

GODDAMN IT. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!

Puzzles fucking suck so much, I hate them with my whole hateful heart.

There are these goddamn bomb blocks that, once you step on them, they set off a fuse and explode, taking out a shit ton of blocks with it. But on this wall you can’t work around them; it’s a fucking race against time. You try so hard to get up before they blow…but NOPE. You just fucked yourself over and have to bash Undo 20 FUCKING TIMES. FUCK THIS GAME

15 MINUTES LATER

Finally made it up. Tried for so long to do it without using my item, but ended up using my item anyway.

Thank you Atlus for taking the cube away from me, my only hope of beating this level by making me use my fucking item at the start of the fucking map.

Fuck my life

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Oh thank Christ I found a spring block! Oh happy day!

These little bastards thrust you up past like 5 blocks. Man, that just made my life 10x easier. Things like this suck you in and force you to continue. But I don’t care, at least I’m experiencing a little joy playing this game.

Let’s see how long it lasts…

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Atlus must’ve known how I would feel because I found more spring blocks. Man this fucking rocks! Just breezing past this map.

SCREW YOU CLOCK TOWER!!

NEAR THE END OF THE MAP

Now I’m stuck. Completely fucking stuck. I have no idea what to do now. I’m stumped.

I’m really resisting the urge to go on YouTube to look up the solution. But it’s not like I can quit right now; if I quit the game it’ll revert back to the landing when I saved.

*sigh* Whatever, I’m giving up for now.

Fuck you Atlus for ruining my fun

**To be continued**